


Fly With The Wind, Stand On The Ground

by andiheardthemplaying



Series: Cloud Elf AU [2]
Category: GOT7, K-pop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:05:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4920760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andiheardthemplaying/pseuds/andiheardthemplaying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark had been living with the pain for years. He was used to it. And even if it was getting worse, and even if it shouldn't have been this bad in the first place, he was fine. He was fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fly With The Wind, Stand On The Ground

Mark knew the moment he saw him. Who this boy was, what he was, and what that meant. For him, unsuspecting and smiling, unaware of what his presence meant. For Mark, himself, for his health and his happiness and his life. He knew right away. And he should have been happy. But in the same instant that he knew who Jackson Wang was, he knew who he wasn’t - and he wasn’t Mark’s, he would never be Mark’s.

Mark knew this because when the bright, loud boy walked into the room, he radiated feelings of satisfaction and commitment, and the slight smell of a girl’s perfume was hanging in the air around him. And beyond that, he was different. Different from Mark.

And Mark knew what his family would say to that. He knew what the king would say to that. And he knew that, even if he didn’t care about the opinions of his people (which he did. They were all he had in the world.), these kinds of matches never ended well for anyone. And the last thing that Mark knew was that he would never hurt Jackson Wang, not knowingly. He knew he would never do anything that might end in causing the other boy pain.

So Mark smiled his usual small smile as he was introduced. He bowed, and over the next days and weeks and months, he learned how to be in the same room as Jackson, how to be near him, and not give in to the growing need to touch him and be with him. He learned how to be best friends, and hide the pain he was in from every eye on them (there were many). And then they were put into a group together, set to debut soon, and he learned to live in the same room as Jackson, to spend nearly every waking moment together.

He learned. And he was fine. He was fine.

_______

When Mark met Jinyoung, he saw the sharp glance the younger boy threw at him. He recognized the sheen of the air around him, and this time knew he had been found out. Jinyoung knew what he was, and what was happening to him. Mark sighed and drew the younger singer away from the group as soon as it wasn’t suspicious. “Don’t tell anyone,” he said quietly. He stared pleadingly at the other boy until he agreed. Mark sighed in relief and let the matter rest.

Practice began in earnest, the seven of them training hard every day to be ready for their debut. For a while there was no time to worry about anything except sleep, eat, train, eat, sleep, repeat. Mark went about the routine just fine, and no one took any notice of the fact that some days he was exceptionally pale, or tired far more quickly than the others did. And he was fine. He was fine.

Their first day off came at last, and the news of it was met by cheers and laughter. Mark grinned quietly along, grateful that he always came across as reserved anyway, so no one would notice his apprehension. Until now, he had been kept busy enough that he didn’t have time to dwell on anything else. He worried that it would all come crashing down on him the minute he woke up to a day with nothing to do except relax.

He never noticed Jinyoung’s calculating gaze on him, or the grimly satisfied smile on the younger boys face.

_____

The morning of their day off, Mark stumbled out of his and Jackson’s room and into the kitchen to eat breakfast. He was slumped over his cereal, eating slowly, when Jinyoung found him.

“Mark-hyung,” he said quietly. Mark raised his head and nodded at him. “Can we talk?” Mark stiffened and then shook his head slowly, hoping that would deter the other boy.

Jinyoung sighed. “Please, hyung?” he asked. “I can tell what’s going on, and I can see that it’s getting worse. You need help, and I at least know more about how to help you than the others do.” He crossed his arms and stared at the older boy defiantly. Mark stared back for a moment, and then groaned and nodded again. Jinyoung grinned in satisfaction, and waited for Mark to finish his breakfast. As soon as he set his spoon down, the other boy whisked his dishes away and into the sink, and then dragged him into his tiny room.

After shutting the door and pulling Mark to sit on his bed, he fixed him with a hard stare. Mark winced. “I know you’re not alright, hyung,” Jinyoung said. “How bad is it?” Mark sighed.

“It’s fine,” he said. Jinyoung glared at him. “Really! It’s not pleasant, but I’m not in the danger zone yet. I can handle it, Jinyoung.” The younger boy huffed, not satisfied.

“But you’re still in pain,” he insisted. Mark smiled sadly.

“Yes, Jinyoung. But I’m always going to be in pain, until I find my anchor. That’s how all cloud elves are. Once we reach the age at which we are able to bond with an anchor, we are in constant discomfort or pain until we find and bond with them.” Jinyoung scowled.

“But isn’t there anything I can do? To make it a little better?” he asked desperately. Mark smiled wider and reached out to wrap Jinyoung in a hug.

“Thank you for the thought, Jinyounggie, but there’s nothing. And I’m alright. I’ve learned how to deal with it,” he said quietly. Jinyoung leaned his head on Mark’s shoulder and sighed.

“I know. I just hate seeing you get worse. The others can’t tell, I don’t think, but I can, and it’s horrible.” Mark smiled into the younger boy’s hair and held him tighter. They sat together for some time, neither wanting to move. When they finally did it was to relocate to the couch and put on a movie. They were quickly joined by Bambam and Yugyeom, who curled up on either side of them.

Mark shifted slightly, trying to hide a wince as Yugyeom settled his weight onto his stomach. He really could handle it, but things like this were always a little difficult to settle into. He hated it, because he loved his dongsaengs, and wanted to cuddle with them and let them lean on him, but sometimes he couldn’t take the weight of them. Today, though, he found a good position and smiled happily. He ran his fingers through Yugyeom’s hair and settled in to watch the movie.

Later that day, Jaebum, Jackson and Youngjae came in and joined in what had become a movie marathon. Mark shifted again, reacting to the presence of his anchor in the room. This time, though, Jinyoung and Yugyeom looked up and asked if he was alright. Mark smiled at Yugyeom and nodded. The younger boy smiled back and lowered himself back onto Mark’s stomach. Jinyoung kept him fixed with a shrewd stare the whole time.

“I’m fine, Jinyoung,” he whispered. “Just needed to move a bit.” Jinyoung nodded slowly, still staring at him, and finally turned back to the movie. Mark sighed internally in relief. He tried to bring his attention back to the movie, but his eyes kept drifting to Jackson. He looked over every time the younger boy laughed, every time he scoffed at something, every time he shifted and Mark felt the air around him move.

As the afternoon progressed and turned to evening, Mark grew more and more uncomfortable. He couldn’t move and leave the room to get away from Jackson, he couldn’t put on headphones, he couldn’t do physical activity to distract himself. The pain was getting worse, and he knew he would need to get away soon.

It started in his chest, a slight heat that grew into an intense burn and spread out and down his arms and into his stomach and down his legs, and up to his head. His eyes started throbbing, his ears started ringing, and eventually he couldn’t do anything but close himself off and will himself into unconsciousness. He hadn’t reached that stage yet, but he knew it was coming. He closed his eyes and hoped that someone would demand dinner or a change of activity soon, anything to get him out of this. He nearly cried in relief when the movie ended and Jinyoung stood up to turn off the TV.

“Dinner time!” the singer exclaimed. Yugyeom and Bambam cheered and stood from the couch to move toward the kitchen, followed by Youngjae and Jinyoung. Mark stood quickly and made his way out of the room on legs that were only a little shaky.

“Mark?” Jackson asked. “Are you alright? You look a little off.” Mark cursed under his breath, and then turned and smiled at the younger boy.

“I’m fine, Jackson,” he said. “Just need to go to the bathroom.” He kept his small, normal smile pasted onto his face, willing Jackson to believe him. The younger boy nodded reluctantly and backed a couple of steps toward the kitchen, following Jaebum.

“Ok.” he said quietly, and then turned away. Mark stood still for a moment struggling with his instinct to run after Jackson and throw himself into the other boy’s arms, hold tight, and never let go. He clenched his eyes shut, and slid back a couple of steps. Finally he opened his eyes and turned away from the living room and slipped into the bathroom.

He splashed water on his face and leaned over the sink, breathing harshly and trying to fight back tears and whimpers of pain. He had never spent a day in such close quarters with Jackson without also being able to do physical activity or get more of a buffer between them if he needed it. The pain had never been this intense before, and he blanched as he realized how much worse he was getting.

He shook his head. It would be fine. He was alright. Cloud elves survived for years all the time without their anchors. He would, too. No matter if no cloud elf had ever survived without a bond while also living with their anchor. No matter that no other cloud elf had ever had such bad pain this early. He would be fine.

“Mark-hyung?” Bambam called from outside the bathroom. “The food is ready!”

“Ok, I’ll be right out, Bambam,” Mark called back. He heard the younger boy walk away from the door and took a deep, shuddering breath, before straightening up and walking back to the kitchen. He smiled when he walked in and sat down in the empty seat. He sighed quietly in relief - he was across the table diagonally from Jackson, and could focus on other people better.

Dinner passed slowly, and Mark kept quiet. He knew the others were confused. He normally wasn’t as quiet as this when they were alone, but he was too tired to make any kind of effort. Jinyoung was beside him and he could feel the younger boy’s concerned gaze on him every now and then, but he ignored it. He finished his food and stood up to take his plate to the sink.

“I’m tired, I think I’ll go to bed early,” he said quietly. The others nodded. Jaebum raised an eyebrow.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Mark smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I just want to catch up on some more sleep before training starts up again,” he said. The leader nodded slowly and refocused on his dinner. Jinyoung just stared. Mark sighed and smiled at him. He nodded slightly, trying to reassure the other singer that he really was alright, but judging by the way Jinyoung’s eyes narrowed, it didn’t work that well.

__________

Mark collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. He rolled over and closed his eyes, determined to be asleep by the time Jackson came into their shared room. He shifted around, but couldn’t find a comfortable position. His back was aching, his hips were throbbing, and his head felt like someone was banging on the insides of it with a hammer. He grimaced and whimpered quietly. He hated this.

Mark had known what he was all his life. His mother had told him everything she knew about cloud elves, and had found as many actual cloud elves as she could to talk to him and help him. They were rare, and didn’t often mingle in general society. But there was one old woman who had agreed to talk to him, teach him. She had become like a grandmother to him, and told him everything she knew.

She told him when he should start expecting the pain, and the kinds of things he should do to take care of himself. She told him the possible things he would feel when he finally found his anchor (it’s different for everyone, little one). He remembered listening with wide eyes as she told him how she had felt when she had finally met her anchor. She told him that she had seen long red curls and bright blue eyes, and she felt warmth bubble up from deep inside her and chase away the biting cold that had been her pain.

She had told him that finding his anchor, and bonding with them, would feel like nothing else. And Mark remembered, most of all, wishing with all his heart, at every birthday, on every shooting star, that he would have that. He remembered staring at his slender fingers, his skin warm in the sun as he sat under his favourite tree, and wondering when he would find his anchor. Would it be before the pain got too bad? Or would he have to endure for a while?

And he remembered the moment when he realized who his anchor was. And the moment after, when he had realized that his anchor wasn’t his. That night, alone in his bed, he had broken down into silent tears. He had resolved then and there to never tell anyone who his anchor was. It was rare, and it was sad, but sometimes cloud elves just didn’t find an anchor. They lived out their lives, shorter than most, and then they floated away. He had decided that night, with tears tracking down his face, that that was what would happen.

He hadn’t gotten any sleep that night. He had laid in bed and remembered everything he had ever learned about cloud elves. They were born small and slight, and never put on much bulk as they grew up. The legends said that they were meant to be in their element, part of their element, not separate from it the way all other elves were. They would always long to fly, to ride the wind. As they grew older, that longing would intensify, and they would become more and more insubstantial, until finally they disappeared completely. Mark knew that at least the part about longing to fly was true. All his life, all he had ever wanted was to soar through the air. Even now, he was happiest when he could be jumping and flipping, and throwing his body into the air (his mother had never allowed him to do any more than that, even when his siblings were learning how to make the wind pick them up and carry them, for fear that he would float away because he was so small). And, as he thought about it in the dark of the night, he thought that maybe fading away wouldn’t be so bad. It would be better than losing everything because he gave away his secret and tried to bond with a different kind of elf.

Jackson was a fire elf. He was bright, and loud, and passionate, and Mark had never met anyone who was so magnetic. But sky elves would never accept one of their own bonding with a fire elf. And fire elves would never accept one of their own bonding with a cloud elf. Cloud elves were an anomaly. No other group had an equivalent. They were viewed with suspicion, even by some sky elves. No one knew their purpose or origin, aside from vague legends. No one knew the extent of their abilities or limits. No one trusted them. Fire elves hated them. Legends, older than memory, talked about fire elves who had met their deaths when they fell in love with cloud elves, only to have them use powers no one remembered to destroy the spark inside of the fire elf.

Mark was dragged out of his reverie by the sound of the door opening. He closed his eyes and tried to settle down and calm his breathing. “Mark?” he heard Jackson whisper quietly. “Are you awake?” He didn’t answer, and the younger boy sighed and began shuffling around in the dark to get ready for bed. When he heard Jackson settle onto his bed and shift around for a moment before light snores began, he sighed with relief, and squirmed around some more himself. He finally found a position less painful than any other, and drifted off to sleep.

___________

The group threw themselves into training for the next three weeks. They were preparing to debut, and they were nervous and excited in equal measure. As the date grew closer, Mark could feel the tension in the dorm increase. Every spare moment that wasn’t expressly ordered for rest or food was spent practicing – either going over dance steps in the common space or going over lyrics and melodies in the kitchen. When they day finally came, Mark knew they were ready, but he couldn’t stop his palms from sweating or his legs from trembling.

But they did it! They finished their performance. Their album dropped. And life went on. They continued to practice, to perform. Their album did well. Their second album did well. Their third album did well. They were happy.

And best of all, they were busy. Mark had very little time to concentrate on the pain that was getting worse everyday. He worked himself as hard as he could before Jinyoung, Jaebum or Jackson would drag him to the table and force him to eat before they sent him to bed. He didn’t notice the ever increasing concern in Jinyoung’s glances, or Jaebum beginning to narrow his eyes at him and examine him whenever he took off his shirt in the dorms, or wore clothes that hung off his frame, although they were already small enough that the only other person in the group who could possibly fit into them was Bambam. He didn’t notice Jackson exchanging worried glances with Jinyoung and Jaebum whenever Mark didn’t finish all of his already small portions at meals.

Everything came to a head after they had finished promoting for Just Right. They were resting for the first time in weeks, and were gathered in the living room altogether to play video games and relax. Jinyoung had wedged himself next to Mark and was monitoring him as closely as he could. This was why he noticed Mark flinch when Jackson flopped down on his other side. Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows when Mark shrank away just the tiniest bit when the other boy leaned into him. The oldest singer was growing paler and paler, and Jinyoung could see his temples getting moist with sweat. A moment later, he began trembling, and just as Jinyoung opened his mouth to ask what was wrong he shot up off the couch, dislodging both Jinyoung and Jackson, and almost ran out of the room.

Everyone went quiet, and Jinyoung got up and ran after the eldest. “What was that?” Bambam asked quietly into the silence. Jaebum shook his head and glanced at Jackson, who shrugged.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “For now, though, let’s give them space. I don’t want to crowd Mark if he’s not feeling well.” The others nodded and settled slowly back into their previous positions. Slowly, Bambam, Youngjae and Yugyeom started their game again. Jackson glanced at Jaebum again, his face worried. The leader shrugged and came to sit beside him. “We’ll check on them in a while,” he said quietly. Jackson nodded.

________

“Mark-hyung, please!” Jinyoung pleaded with the older boy. The cloud elf was curled on his bed shivering. He resolutely shook his head.

“For the last time, Jinyoung, no! I’m not telling anyone!” He turned a weak, half-hearted glare on the younger singer and then rolled over to face the wall.

“Hyung, you’re getting worse!” Jinyoung said, near tears. “Please! Everyone can see it by now, and soon they’re going to start asking. There must be some way to find your anchor faster.” Mark sat up slowly and turned to Jinyoung.

“There isn’t,” he said, his voice rough. “You can’t do anything, I can’t do anything, the company can’t do anything.” Jinyoung was crying now, and Mark felt his heart twinge at the sight. “Jinyounggie, it’s alright,” he whispered. “I’ll be alright.”

“But hyung, I’ve never heard of pain this bad in a cloud elf! I’m a sky elf, you know that! I’ve heard the stories, and I learned about cloud elves in school the same as everyone else. I have never, ever heard of a cloud elf going through this much pain, especially not one your age!” He wiped impatiently at his eyes and cheeks to get rid of the tears. “If you won’t tell someone, come up with another excuse to take a rest. It can’t be good for you to work this hard while you’re also going through this.” Mark smiled sadly.

“Thank you for the concern, Jinyoung, but I’ll be fine. Every cloud elf is different. The pain is different for everyone. The old woman who taught me said that it was cold for her. Mine is hot. It just so happens that mine is more intense, as well,” he said gently. He was frantically scrambling for excuses as he spoke, and hoped it didn’t show on his face. Jinyoung looked skeptical.

“But even if that’s true, there’s no reason it should be hurting you this much, unless there’s something else going on,” he said slowly. Mark’s breath caught, and Jinyoung’s head snapped up. “There is, isn’t there?” he asked quietly, his eyes narrowed. Mark shook his head quickly, trying to smile at his friend.

“Of course not, Jinyoung,” he said quickly. Jinyoung glared at him. Mark was panicking. He could see the wheels turning in Jinyoung’s eyes, and knew he was tracing back through every moment he could remember of his interactions with Mark.

“The pain is supposed to stop once you find your anchor and bond with them,” he said slowly, before sitting up straight, his eyes wide with shock and distress. “But you haven’t bonded. You know who your anchor is, don’t you? And you’re not bonding with them for some reason, and that’s why you’re in so much pain!” Mark shook his head frantically and inched back towards the wall.

“N-no, I don’t,” he said quickly, his voice trembling. Jinyoung glared at him. Mark felt his arm give out beneath him and whimpered in pain. “I swear, Jinyoung, I don’t know who h-it is,” he said.

“He. It’s a he,” Jinyoung said flatly. “You do know. Who is it, hyung? Why haven’t you told him?” he demanded. Mark closed his eyes briefly, fighting back tears, and then looked up again.

“I don’t know, Jinyoung,” he said. The pain was getting worse every moment, and all he could think of was that he couldn’t let anyone know that Jackson was his anchor. He couldn’t hurt the other boy like that. His eyes flicked over to Jackson’s bed before snapping back to Jinyoung. He held his breath, hoping the other boy hadn’t noticed, and his heart fell as the boy’s eyes widened.

“It’s Jackson, isn’t it?” he whispered. “Your anchor is Jackson. Hyung, you’ve been living with him for over a year! You’ve known him for almost three years! Why haven’t you told him?” Mark felt the tears in his eyes overflow and he pushed himself over to his friend. He grabbed Jinyoung’s hand and squeezed, hard, his shoulders trembling.

“Don’t tell, Jinyounggie, please. You can’t, please, he can’t know.” He was begging, sobbing, and hanging onto Jinyoung’s hand as if it was all that was holding him to the earth. In that moment, it felt like it. Jinyoung began to cry as well as he stared at his hyung, normally so calm and collected, breaking down in front of him. He reached out and pulled the older boy into him, his breath hitching when he felt how fragile Mark’s shoulders were.

“Hyung, why?” he asked in a broken voice. “Why not? You’ll die if you don’t tell him!” Mark nodded. Jinyoung gasped. “Hyung, why are you doing this?”

“I can’t tell him, Jinyounggie,” Mark whispered. “He’s not mine. He’ll never be mine. I won’t force anything on him, and he’ll never want me on his own.” Jinyoung shook his head.

“You don’t know that, hyung!” he exclaimed quietly.

“I do, though,” Mark whispered. “You don’t understand, Jinyounggie. When I met Jackson, I knew exactly who he was. I knew I needed him. And a second later I knew that he had a girlfriend, that he was a fire elf, and that he would never be mine. Even if he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore, he’s still a fire elf. Fire elves hate cloud elves, you know that. His family would probably demand he leave Got7 if they knew I was a cloud elf. They would definitely never let him bond with me. And my family would disown me. I can’t do that to either of us. It’s almost physically impossible for me to ever do anything that will hurt him, and I can’t do that to my family.”

“So dying is the answer?” Jinyoung asked incredulously. He pushed Mark back slightly so that he could look him in the eyes. “Hyung, you dying will hurt Jackson. And it will tear your family apart! Not to mention what it will do to the rest of us. If you keep going like this, you’ll be gone in two years. What do you think that will do to Bambam, or Yugyeom?! Or me or Youngjae or Jaebum?!” His voice was steadily rising, and Mark glanced worriedly at the door before glaring at Jinyoung.

“You think I haven’t thought of that?” he hissed. “I would give anything not to have dragged the rest of you into this! I hate that I’m going to cause pain to any one of you, but I have no other choice!” His voice had risen now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You do have a choice!” Jinyoung cried. “Tell him!” Mark shook his head.

“I can’t! Don’t ask me again!” he yelled back. They stared at each other for a moment, both distraught, both angry. Finally Jinyoung stood and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I won’t tell him anything, but I want you to know that right now I hate you for making me do this.” He turned and ran out of the room. Mark collapsed onto his bed once he was gone, sobs wracking his body painfully in the dark.

_________

Jaebum looked up in concern when raised voices reached the living room. Bambam paused the video game again and looked around warily. They couldn’t make out words, but something was wrong. Jaebum raised himself up out of his seat and was just starting towards Mark and Jackson’s room when Jinyoung came out, walking quickly with his head down. Jaebum caught his arm and pulled him around.

“Jinyoung?” he asked. “What’s going on?” The younger singer shook his head and pulled at his arm. From the floor, Bambam gasped.

“Hyung, are you crying?!” he asked. Jaebum started and reached out to grasp Jinyoung’s chin and pull his face up. Jinyoung grunted and resisted, but finally relented. His eyes were red and swollen, and his cheeks were shining with tears.

“Jinyoung, what’s wrong?” Jaebum asked, shocked. Jinyoung shook his head again and tugged at his arm.

“Nothing, hyung,” he whispered. “I’m tired, I want to go to sleep.” Jaebum slowly nodded and let go of his arm.

“Is Mark alright?” Jackson asked from the couch, looking worried. His eyes widened when he saw more tears well up in Jinyoung’s own eyes. “Jinyoung? What – what happened?” he asked. Jinyoung shook his head and nearly ran to his room. The room was silent in his wake. Jackson and Jaebum looked at each other, both worried. “I’ll check on Mark,” Jackson said quietly. Jaebum nodded.

“You three got to Youngjae’s and my room tonight, ok?” Jaebum said to the three on the floor. They nodded quickly, all of them looking unnerved. The leader nodded and then went to follow Jinyoung.

“Come on,” Youngjae said quietly. He got up and put away the game controllers and then pulled Yugyeom and Bambam up with him. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Are Jinyoung-hyung and Mark-hyung alright, do you think?” Yugyeom asked quietly. Youngjae shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. They were walking into his room when they heard a hoarse scream from Mark and Jackson’s room. They froze and watched as Jaebum and Jinyoung came barreling out of the other room and disappeared down the hall. “Come on,” Youngjae said again. “We won’t do them any good tonight. Let’s get some rest.” He pushed the other two into the room and onto the bed. They had all gotten ready for bed before beginning their games, so he turned off the light right away and climbed in with them.

_________

Mark was curled in a ball under his blankets when he heard the door open. He tensed when he felt the air in the room shift and settle around Jackson’s form, and then cringed when the wave of pain hit. He bit his lip to keep quiet and hoped that Jackson was coming in to go to bed and would ignore him. Instead, he felt him come closer and heard him whisper his name.

“Mark?” he asked. “Mark, are you alright? Jinyoung came out of here in tears. What happened?” Mark kept silent, hoping Jackson would come to the conclusion that he had cried himself to sleep or something and leave him alone, but instead he felt the gentle pressure of Jackson settling his hand on his shoulder.

They had touched before. It was uncomfortable, but like everything else, Mark had learned to live with it. Nothing could ever have prepared him for the searing pain he felt at this touch. He was shocked and unprepared, and it hurt so much that he couldn’t keep silent. A hoarse scream ripped it’s way out of his throat before he could stop it, and he cringed away from Jackson.

“Mark?!” the younger boy asked in alarm. A moment later, the door burst open and Mark felt the air shift and settle around Jaebum and Jinyoung, and groaned quietly.

“What happened?!” That was Jaebum, calm and authoritative. Mark dragged himself up and out from under the covers. He heard two gasps at the tears on his face and the redness of his eyes and grimaced.

“Nothing,” he whispered. “I had fallen asleep, and I was having a nightmare. Jackson woke me up and scared me.” He saw Jinyoung’s eyes fill with more tears and felt his heart clench. He stared straight at the younger boy, trying to will him to understand how sorry he was, how much he wished things were different. He poured everything he could of his feelings of guilt and apology into the air and pushed it at the sky elf. He saw him tense, and knew he had heard what Mark told him. He bit his lip and shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, before turning and running out of the room. Jaebum and Jackson stood stock-still and stared between the door and Mark for a moment.

“Mark-hyung, what’s going on?” Jaebum asked finally.

“Nothing. We had a fight, that’s all. We’ll be fine in the morning,” he whispered. Jaebum sighed and stared at him for another moment.

“Fine. I’ll leave it alone for now. But you had better figure it out soon, we have practice tomorrow,” he said. Mark nodded and slid back under his blankets. Jaebum stared at him sadly for a moment before turning to leave the room. He glanced at Jackson and raised an eyebrow. Jackson nodded. He would keep an eye on Mark, and let Jaebum know if he could see anything wrong. Jaebum nodded and left.

Jackson turned and stared at the lump that was his best friend. He felt helpless, useless, and he hated it. He wanted to be able to help the older singer. He wanted to be able to do something for both of his friends. But they wouldn’t say what was going on, and so he couldn’t do anything. He turned out the light and then moved over to his bed. He sat down and stared over at Mark for another moment, his heart aching, and finally stretched out and tried to sleep. His dreams were filled with dark, wide eyes, pale skin and a high-pitched laugh that never failed to make him smile and laugh along.

________

They arrived at the company building quietly the next day. Mark and Jinyoung kept their heads down, hiding their pale faces and swollen eyes. Neither of them had slept much the night before, and both had cried for most of the night. Mark walked as fast as he could and slipped into the practice room before anyone could say anything more than ‘hello’ to him. Their choreographer looked up in surprise and stared for a moment. Mark nodded to him and went to set his bag down in a corner of the room. He sank down next to it, getting as much rest as he could before he had to put up a façade of well-being.

As the rest of Got7 filed into the room, the choreographer grew more and more uneasy. Practices with Got7 were normally loud and energetic. If they were ever quiet, it was at the end of the day, a result of working hard for hours on end, and even then they all made an effort to laugh and make jokes to keep themselves going. None of them were smiling this morning, though, and they were all on edge and tense.

The choreographer decided to wait to mention the strange mood, and called them to attention. He watched as they all moved to stand in front of him, Mark dragging himself up from the floor to come to the centre of the room. He began practice, watching closely for signs of what might have gone wrong. All that he could tell after four hours was that Mark and Jinyoung had spent the night crying, and that the rest of them had no idea what was going on.

This went on for a week. The group would arrive at the company building for practice, head to their practice room without speaking to anyone, practice for hours, and leave. At home, they were silent. Mark ate a quick meal, and then disappeared into his room. Jinyoung watched him silently, and as soon as the oldest member had gone to bed, he turned to Jaebum and burrowed into his chest and wouldn’t leave. Jaebum had asked Youngjae to use Jinyoung’s room, and had Jinyoung sleep with him each night. Jackson was silent, and watched Mark closely. He went to bed an hour after the older boy, at most, and never took his eyes off him during the day. The three youngest members were walking on tenterhooks, not sure how to act with their hyungs. They had no idea what had happened, and no idea how to react.

On the eighth day after Mark and Jinyoung’s fight, they were taking a break and had left the practice room to get some fresh air. They had gathered in the big common area with several other artists. Mark was in a corner on his own, Jinyoung was curled into Jaebum’s side on the other side of the room, and Jackson was in between the two. The youngest three had gathered near Chansung, and were staring between their hyungs worriedly. Chansung nudged Youngjae gently.

“What’s going on?” he asked quietly. Youngjae shook his head.

“No idea,” he whispered. “Mark-hyung wasn’t feeling well last week, and went to his room. Jinyoung-hyung followed him to check on him, they had some kind of fight, and they’ve barely spoken at all since.” As he was speaking, the rest of 2PM and Miss A had drifted over to listen.

“Are they ok?” Wooyoung asked. “Mark doesn’t look so good.” Youngjae slumped.

“I know,” he said. “He’s not eating very much, and I don’t think he’s sleeping, either. I’m worried.” Bambam nodded. He had his legs curled up into his chest and was staring at Mark quietly. He had one hand on Yugyeom’s head where it was leaning against his calf.

As they were talking, Mark stood up and began to walk back to the practice room. All eyes in the room tracked his progress, noting how small he seemed to have become, how pale his skin had gotten. He had just passed the large group on the couches when it happened. He gave a sharp gasp and dropped his water bottle, and then his legs seemed to crumple underneath him. Jackson leapt from his seat as soon as he heard Mark’s gasp, and reached him just in time to stop him from hitting the floor. But as soon as he touched the older singer, Mark screamed. Jinyoung tensed, and Jaebum leapt forward. It was the same scream they had heard last week, and it wasn’t stopping.

Mark was struggling and pushing at Jackson’s chest, the hoarse scream continuing. Managers, choreographers, everyone nearby were pouring into the room. People began to move toward the two boys on the floor, intending to separate them, when Jinyoung yelled out over the racket, “Stop!” Everyone froze. “Don’t move them. Jackson, don’t let him go,” he said. Mark, whose screams had died down to whimpers, began to cry.

“Jin-Jinyounggie,” he whimpered. “P-please, please – ” His voice was shattered, tears were streaming down his face, and he could barely lift his arms anymore. His whole body was shuddering in pain, and he continued quietly begging Jinyoung. Jinyoung slumped to the floor beside him and reached for his hand.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” he said, as he started crying as well. “I’m sorry. I can’t watch you kill yourself.” At that, the tension in the room thickened to the point that Mark could feel it in his bones, and it added to the intense pain wracking his body.

“What?” Jaebum whispered into the silence. “Jinyoung, what are you talking about?” he asked. Mark gasped and shook his head. He clutched at Jinyoung’s hands as tightly as he could and pulled, trying to get himself out of Jackson’s arms.

“Please, no, don’t tell them. Jinyounggie, you promised me. You promised you wouldn’t tell.” Jinyoung looked like his heart was breaking, over and over again. He shook his head.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” he whispered.

“No!” Mark gasped. “You can’t! They’ll hate me! None of them understand, Jinyoung, you can’t tell them! I’ve worked so hard to be here, you can’t tell them!” Jinyoung was sobbing as he pulled his hand away from Mark’s and backed away.

“I’m so sorry, hyung,” he whimpered. He turned and looked at Jaebum, and at JYP, who had come into the room a moment ago. “Mark-hyung is – is a cloud elf,” he said, his voice cracking. Several gasps rang through the room, and several of the artists and staff tensed. They were fire elves, reacting to one of the creatures they feared most. Mark gave another broken scream when he felt Jackson tensing, as well, and he redoubled his efforts to get away. Jackson grit his teeth and locked his arms. Chansung sank down next to him and brought his own arms up to restrain Mark.

“Jinyoung,” JYP said quietly. Jinyoung nodded. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell someone?” he asked. Jinyoung swallowed and took a deep breath.

“I’ve known since I met him, sir,” he said. “I’m a sky elf. We can always tell what someone is. He asked me not to tell anyone, because it would get in the way of his dreams. And he was right, sir. It would have. He did things that no cloud elf would ever have been allowed to do. Everyone is always either so suspicious of them, or so worried about finding their anchor, they rarely see the person themselves. He got this far because no one knew.” Jinyoung stood tall, his jaw set. He knew that he was toeing a line. But he also knew that he was right.

“Alright. But what’s going on? Normally a cloud elf Mark’s age shouldn’t be in this much pain. Even a cloud elf who is about to disappear isn’t normally this bad,” JYP said. Jinyoung nodded.

“I found out a week ago, sir. Mark-hyung – he knows who his anchor is. He just hasn’t bonded with them.” Once again, gasps rang out around the room. Jaebum was stiff with shock, and Bambam and Yugyeom looked horrified.

“What? But – how? The need to bond is supposed to be irresistible,” Chansung spoke from the floor. Mark snarled weakly.

“Cloud elves aren’t as weak as you all seem to think, I guess,” he said weakly. His struggling had died down, but he was still trembling, and he had shrunk in on himself, trying as hard as he could not to touch either of the people holding him. Chansung backed away a little, hoping to alleviate some of his stress.

“Who is his anchor, Jinyoung?” JYP asked. Jinyoung took a shaky breath and looked over to Mark. The older boy had tensed up and he looked up at his friend pleadingly.

“Please, Jinyounggie,” he whispered. “Please don’t. I told you, he’ll never want me. I can’t take that. Please,” he begged quietly. Jinyoung’s eyes filled with tears and he looked away.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” he whispered again. “Mark’s anchor is Jackson,” he said clearly. Jackson gaped at him. Mark launched himself away from the younger boy with everything he had in him, and scrambled to the other side of the room. He put his hands out in front of him and snarled at anyone who came near him. He was curled in on himself, and refused to look at his best friend.

“What?” Jackson asked. “Me?! But – but that’s impossible! I’m a fire elf!” he exclaimed. Jinyoung nodded.

“That’s why he wouldn’t tell you,” he said quietly. “Or, part of it. He didn’t want to hurt you, and he was convinced that, because you were a fire elf, you would never want anything to do with him if you knew he was a cloud elf. He refused to force anything on you, so he hid it.” Jackson gaped, and turned to stare at Mark. The older boy was sagging in on himself, and had buried his face in his knees. He shudders had lessened, but not stopped, and quiet sobs were coming from him.

“But – he was acting as if my touch hurt him. If I’m his anchor, shouldn’t it be the opposite?” Jackson asked.

“I assume it’s because he’s been near you but not bonded to you for so long,” Jinyoung said quietly. He was staring at Mark, his face miserable. Jackson followed his gaze and stared as well. No one moved.

Finally Yugyeom stood up and walked over to his hyung. “Mark-hyung?” he whispered. “I’m going to pick you up, alright? And then we’ll get you home. Can I pick you up?” he asked. Mark shuddered and shrank in on himself more, but he nodded. Yugyeom reached out and wrapped an arm around the older boy’s slim shoulders, and then slipped an arm under his knees. He hoisted him up as gently as possible, and straightened his legs. Mark reached out and wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s neck, and then buried his face in his shoulder. Yugyeom looked to their manager. “Hyung?” he asked. “Can you drive us back?” The older man nodded and set off towards the car. Yugyeom followed, Mark cradled carefully to his chest.

After they left, the room was silent for a long moment. Finally, JYP looked up and around at everyone. “Practices are all cancelled for today,” he said quietly. “Everyone go home and get some rest.” The room slowly emptied, until the only people left were JYP and the remaining five members of Got7. JYP gestured for all of them to sit down.

Jinyoung was tense, and sat on the edge of the couch. JYP smiled down at him. “It’s alright, Jinyoung,” he said. “You were keeping a promise, and you came forward when it was important. And you’re right, if I had known Mark was a cloud elf, he probably would have never made it as far as he did. And we would have missed out on a talented artist, and a wonderful person.” Jinyoung relaxed and nodded gratefully.

“Now. We have to figure out what to do about this situation,” he continued. “There are several options. The least desirable is that we remove Mark from the group so that he can rest, and then he and Jackson can decide what to do about their bond without having to worry about consequences to the group.” All five of them were already shaking their heads by the time JYP had finished. He smiled. “I thought not,” he said. “Our other options rest on you, Jackson,” he said gently. “You can bond with Mark, and take care of him. Or, you can decide not to. Judging by what we have learned today, I’m almost certain that he will leave that decision up to you.” Jackson nodded.

“Sir, I know what I want to do,” he said quietly. JYP looked surprised.

“Are you sure you don’t need time to think?” he asked. Jackson shook his head.

“I’ve been in love with Mark for years now,” he said quietly. “I don’t need to think about this at all.” Jinyoung gasped, and buried his face in his hands as he began crying softly again. Jaebum reached over and pulled him into his side. Bambam slid over and slipped his arm around him from the other side. JYP nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “I have no knowledge of this kind of situation. I suspect it’s the first of its kind. I imagine it will take some time for the two of you to work everything out, however, so I’m going to give all seven of you a weeklong break. Jackson, if that’s not enough, let me know, and I’ll see what I can do.” Jackson nodded. “Alright, let’s get you all home.”

They stood and followed him out and down to the parking garage. Their manager was back and waiting for them, having left Yugyeom to take care of Mark. They piled into the car and set off.

_____________

Yugyeom settled himself into the car and kept his hold on Mark firm. He held him close the whole way home, trying to reassure himself that the older boy was still very much there, and alive, and solid. He couldn’t believe that his beloved hyung had been letting himself die so painfully.

Mark was still crying quietly and clinging to Yugyeom. He knew it was selfish, and that he should be on his knees begging for Yugyeom’s forgiveness, and taking care of him, not the other way around, but he hurt too much. Jackson’s touch had stung and burned like the fire that he was descended from, and the lack of response when it was revealed that he was in fact Mark’s anchor hurt more than he had ever expected it would. All he wanted was to be held, and Yugyeom appeared to be willing to do that, so he clung to him.

When they arrived at their dorm, their manager turned around to go and pick up the rest of the members. Yugyeom carefully carried Mark into his and Bambam’s room, and settled him in his own bed. Mark looked around, confused. “Yugyeommie, why am I in your room? I don’t want to take your bed,” he whispered. Yugyeom shook his head.

“It’s alright, hyung. I thought you might prefer not to be surrounded by Jackson-hyung’s things,” he said. Mark smiled up at him and nodded. He let his head fall onto the pillow, exhausted. He shifted, and whimpered in pain. “Hyung? Are you alright?” Yugyeom asked. Mark took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m fine, Yugyeom,” he whispered. “I’m used to it.” Yugyeom winced at the resignation and defeat in his hyung’s voice, and carefully settled himself into the bed as well. He curled himself around Mark’s smaller form and hugged him close. Mark smiled and pushed closer. “Thank you, Yugyeommie,” he whispered.

They stayed like that until they heard the front door open. Yugyeom sat up and got out of bed. He pushed Mark back down gently when the older singer tried to follow him.

“I’ll see what’s going on, hyung, you rest,” he said. Mark nodded tiredly and closed his eyes. Yugyeom left the room and closed the door, and the cloud elf slowly drifted off to sleep.

____________

Yugyeom came out into the common space to see the rest of his members standing in the common space. “How’s Mark?” Jinyoung asked quietly. He was sitting on the couch, subdued and quiet.

“He’s resting, hopefully sleeping,” Yugyeom said. “I put him in my bed for now.” Jinyoung nodded.

“Alright,” Jaebum said. “JYP has arranged for Jackson and Mark to stay somewhere else for a while. Yugyeommie, we have a weeklong break.” Yugyeom nodded.

“So are they going to bond, then?” he asked. Jackson nodded, staring at the door to Yugyeom and Bambam’s room, as if he could see Mark through the wood.

“The manager is going to take them there now. Yugyeom, can you help me get Mark into the car?” he asked. The youngest nodded. “Jackson, go pack, and then go and get in the car,” Jaebum said gently. Jackson started and looked at the leader for a moment before nodding. He disappeared into his and Mark’s room to pack.

Meanwhile, Yugyeom and Jaebum quietly went up to Mark and began trying to lift him up without waking him. Jaebum managed to get him into his arms without incident, and carefully carried him out of the room, out of the apartment, and down to the car, where Jackson was waiting. He settled into the car, and nodded to the manager. Jackson stared at Mark’s face for the whole ride.

“Do you think he’ll be alright?” he whispered at one point. Jaebum looked down at his friend’s face as well.

“I hope so,” he whispered back.

When they arrived at the hotel, their manager went out first to get the security JYP had arranged for. They slipped out of the car and into the building unnoticed, and made it up to the room without incident. Jaebum settled Mark on the large bed gently, and brushed his hand through the blond hair gently. He backed away and hugged Jackson.

“Take care of him,” he whispered. Jackson nodded. Jaebum and their manager slipped out of the room and closed the door. Jackson stood still for a moment, not sure of what to do. In the past two hours, his life had been turned on his head, and he wasn’t sure how to proceed, aside from convince Mark he loved him. He sighed and began unpacking their things.

When he had finally run out of things to compulsively straighten and re-arrange, he went to the bed and sat down next to Mark. He stared down at the slim form, memorizing his face like he had dozens of times before. After a few minutes, Mark began shifting in his sleep. He was reacting to Jackson’s presence, and before long he was awake.

He opened his eyes slowly, looked around, and promptly jerked up and away, to crouch against the headboard. “Wh-what’s going on?” he choked. “Where are we?”

Jackson stayed still and smiled. “We’re at a hotel. JYP arranged it,” Jackson said. Mark stared.

“Why?” he asked.

“So that we can bond, and work out how to make you feel better,” Jackson replied quietly. Mark stared, and then began to slowly shake his head.

“No,” he whimpered. “No! This is why I didn’t want to tell you! I didn’t want to force you into this!” Jackson moved forward and put his hands out to calm the other boy down.

“Mark! Mark, stop it. You didn’t force me into anything. JYP laid out our choices after you and Yugyeom left. I decided, on my own, what I wanted to do.” Mark stared at him.

“Why? Why would you do that?!” he asked. “You’re a fire elf! Your people hate cloud elves!”

“But I don’t! I never have! And I certainly don’t hate you,” Jackson replied, staring earnestly into Mark’s face. Mark shook his head.

“But what about your family? What will they say? I know how much they mean to you, and I won’t come between you! I won’t do that to you!” Mark was close to tears, again. He curled in on himself, trying to hold himself together.

“Mark, I will deal with how to tell my family, and whatever happens, I’ll survive it. I’m not going to watch you die just because I’m afraid that my parents will be disappointed in me,” Jackson responded. Mark shook his head desperately.

“Jackson, this bond is forever. You can’t get out of it. You can’t change your mind later. It might destroy your relationship with your parents, and you don’t deserve that,” Mark said quietly. “You deserve to be with someone you love, someone you can be proud to introduce to your family.” Jackson shook his head.

“Mark, don’t you get it? You are that person,” he said. Mark gasped quietly and shook his head. Jackson smiled sadly and nodded. “I love you,” he whispered. “I have for years. I always thought that you weren’t interested, and I’m so sorry, Mark.” Mark felt tears slipping down his cheeks for what felt like the millionth time that week.

“What?” he whispered. “N-no – what are you talking about? How can you love me?” he asked. “You’ve never even hinted at that!” Jackson laughed bitterly.

“I know. And I hate myself for that. I had no idea you were in so much pain, Mark,” he whispered. He looked up after a moment, his eyes determined. “But you know now,” he said. “And I didn’t decide to bond with you out of pity. I decided to bond with you because I love you, and all I want is to be with you. I swear.” Mark stared at the boy across from him, disbelieving.

“I – I don’t – you really love me?” he asked, breathless. Jackson smiled and nodded. Mark’s face split into a breathtaking smile, the kind that Jackson hadn’t seen in a long time, he now realized. His breath hitched and he reached out to take the older boy’s hand, but he stopped short. Mark looked at him inquisitively.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jackson said. “The last few times I’ve touched you, it seems like it’s only caused you pain.” Mark smiled sadly and nodded.

“Try anyway,” he whispered. Jackson hesitated again, so Mark reached out and gently brushed his fingers across the back of Jackson’s hand. He hissed at the contact.

“Are you alright?” Jackson asked, worried. Mark nodded, smiling.

“It stung a little, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as earlier. I think it was probably hurting because I was denying it. Because I’m not denying it anymore, it doesn’t hurt as much.” Jackson nodded and turned his hand over on the bed. Mark let his fingertips rest on the other boy’s palm, and slowly slid his hand down to grasp onto Jackson’s. He gasped and trembled, and Jackson tensed worriedly. Mark shook his head. “It’s fine,” he gasped. “It doesn’t hurt.” Jackson furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“It feels good,” Mark said quietly. “It feels right.” And then he was pushing closer to Jackson, still unsteady, still weak and tired, but the feeling of a cool breeze swept over his skin, soothing the burning in his veins. He pushed his face into Jackson’s shoulder and pulled himself into the other boy’s lap. He hummed as he felt Jackson slide his arms around his waist and pull him close. He wrapped his arms around Jackson’s neck, and then, when he didn’t feel close enough, he wrapped his legs around Jackson’s waist as well. Jackson laughed.

“Are you a koala?” he asked. Mark smiled into his neck. Jackson smiled softly into the soft blond hair under his chin.

Neither of them wanted to let go, so they sat there for a long time. Finally, Jackson pulled back and smiled at Mark, who looked like a satisfied cat. He laughed. “So,” Jackson asked. “How do we do this? How is the bond formed?” Mark blushed. Jackson raised an eyebrow.

“It’s simple, really,” he said slowly. Jackson laughed lightly. Mark glared at him. Jackson raised his hands in the air and forced his face into a serious expression. Mark huffed and continued. “It’s supposed to ground me. You are literally an anchor, so it’s about becoming as connected as possible. So – well, sex,” he said slowly, his face bright red. Jackson grinned at him.

“Oh, is that all?” he asked as he stretched out on the bed and pulled Mark to lie on top of him. Mark glared again. “Shh, I don’t mean anything by this, you know that,” Jackson murmured as he stroked his hand through Mark’s hair. Mark smiled and leaned his head into the touch. “I am curious about one thing, though,” Jackson said. Mark hummed to show he was listening. “How does this ground you?” Mark leaned up and frowned.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean – how does having a bond with someone keep you from disappearing?” Mark nodded and tapped his lip for a moment.

“Think about it like this – before the bond, all that’s holding me here is my physical body,” he started. “But cloud elves, according to legend, are made of clouds. The legends sky elves hear when they’re children say that, unlike other elves, who are connected to their element, but separate, cloud elves are pieces of their element given solid form. So, my body isn’t enough to keep me here, because it’s always longing to be part of the clouds. So we have to form a bond with someone else, a bond that goes beyond just a physical bond, to keep us from disappearing. Does that make sense?” he asked uncertainly. Jackson smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, as he rolled over and pushed Mark onto his back on the bed. He stroked his hair again, and stared down at them. Mark stared up at Jackson’s face, drinking it in hungrily. He reached up and traced Jackson’s cheekbones and eyebrows and lips with his fingers. Jackson smiled. “Can I kiss you, Mark?” he asked quietly. Mark smiled and nodded, biting his lip. Jackson groaned and leaned down to seal his lips over Mark’s. Mark slid his arms around Jackson’s neck and pulled him closer, so that they were pressed together completely.

Mark gasped and shook, and tightened his hold on Jackson. He could feel the cool breeze on his skin chasing away the pain he had felt for so long. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he realized that he had been in pain for so long, he had actually forgotten what it was like to feel completely fine, to feel wonderful. He was shaking and gasping for breath, and he had never felt so happy. Jackson pulled back slightly, worried.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly, bringing his hand up to brush away tears. Mark smiled and nodded.

“I’m fine. I’m happy,” he said. Jackson grinned down at him and kissed him again. Mark closed his eyes and pressed himself as close to the other boy as possible. He moaned quietly as Jackson’s tongue pushed into his mouth and traced along his own. His legs fell open, and Jackson settled between them, heavy and real, and Mark could feel himself pulling back together, feel himself getting better every second.

He whined when Jackson pulled away, and gasped when he felt lips on his jaw, on his neck, moving down to prominent collarbones that his tank top did nothing to hide. Jackson pressed light, feathery kisses to every inch of skin he could reach, and bit and sucked along Mark’s collarbones. He groaned at the small noises Mark was making. When he pulled away from the other boy to sit up, Mark was panting and flushed, his collarbones littered with pink spots. He smiled and reached out for Jackson to come back, to kiss him again. He couldn’t get enough of him now that he had touched him, kissed him, and the urge that he had beaten back so successfully for so long was rearing its head now that he was finally allowing it.

Jackson grinned and pulled off his shirt, and reached down to tug at the hem of Mark’s as well. The older boy propped himself up and helped to pull the flimsy tank top off before pushing himself farther off the bed to latch onto Jackson again. Jackson laughed.

“You’re eager, aren’t you?” he whispered. Mark nodded.

“You would be, too, if you had been denying yourself everything you wanted for years,” he retorted. Jackson laughed again.

“Trust me, Mark, it may not have been as hard for me, or as painful, but I’ve definitely been denying myself.” As he said it he pushed Mark back down onto the bed. He followed quickly and kissed him again. And again. And again. He smiled into Mark’s lips and pressed his chest up against Mark’s. He felt slender arms snake around his neck and heard muffled moans and whimpers as Mark pressed himself closer, opened himself up further, and he closed his eyes tightly to keep back the tears of happiness and relief he could feel welling up. But there had been far too much crying today alone, let alone the past week, and he didn’t want any more tears. He wanted smiles and high-pitched laughs and moans and gasps. He pressed his hips into Mark’s, and smiled when he heard Mark groan deep in his throat, and felt an answering pressure.

Mark wrapped his legs around Jackson’s waist and pulled him as close as he could when the other boy began grinding their hips together. He groaned and brought his hands down to hold Jackson’s jaw and stroke his fingers through the other boy’s hair. Jackson pulled back, gasping, and smiled when Mark groaned again, this time in exasperation. He pushed himself down the bed and tugged at Mark’s pants, pulling them off before he slipped out of his own. Mark flushed and he lifted his hips up to let Jackson get at his underwear as well. When they were both naked, Jackson crawled back up the bed and settled over Mark again.

Mark gasped at the feeling of so much bare skin against his own. He could feel heat chasing away his cool breeze, and he tensed for a moment, scared that the pain was coming back, before he realized that it was a new kind of heat. This wasn’t a burning heat. This was warm, and safe, and right, and he relaxed into it. He pressed up against Jackson again, clinging to him as tightly as he could.

Jackson had frozen when he felt Mark tense up, and slowly reached an arm around the small waist when Mark lifted himself off the bed as he wrapped his arms tightly around Jackson’s neck. “Mark?” he asked, nervous. “Are you alright?” Mark nodded quickly.

“I’ll tell you later. For now, please, please Jackson, don’t stop touching me,” he said quickly. Jackson smiled and sat back on his heels, pulling Mark up with him to sit on his lap. He held him close and pushed his chin up. Mark stared down at him, his eyes wide and dark, his cheeks flushed and Jackson reached a hand up to push into the blond hair and pull him down to kiss him again. Mark tightened his grip around Jackson’s neck and pressed as close as he could. He could hear himself whimpering and moaning and couldn’t bring himself to care. Every sensation was too new, too real, too good.

Jackson held Mark as tightly as he could, guessing that the other boy’s reactions had something to do with the bond. He could feel Mark getting harder against his hip, and he slid the hand on Mark’s back down farther, slowly beginning to explore more of his lover’s body. Mark stiffened and gasped when he felt fingers travelling over him, pressing and stroking, bringing the good heat with them. He let his head fall back and gasped again when he felt Jackson’s lips and teeth fasten themselves to his throat again. Jackson bit and sucked at the pale skin, and slowly lowered Mark back to the bed. He glanced over at the bedside table, relief flooding him when he spotted the small bottle of lube lying there. He reached out and grabbed it, and sat up slowly.

He stared down at Mark and reached out to stroke his hair away from his face. Mark stared at him and reached up to catch his hand and hold it. He squeezed Jackson’s fingers and held them to his cheek Jackson smiled and leaned over the other boy again. He kissed him slowly, and then leaned their foreheads against each other. Mark smiled up at him.

“Ok?” Jackson asked quietly, holding up the lube. Mark smiled wider and nodded.

“Yeah,” he whispered. Jackson smiled at him and sat back. He opened the bottle and spread some of its contents over his fingers. He lowered himself back over Mark, leaning on his elbow.

“Tell me if you want me to stop, ok?” he said quietly. Mark nodded. Jackson moved his fingers down Mark’s body, staring at the other boy’s eyes the whole time. Mark spread his legs wider, and wrapped his arms loosely around Jackson’s neck, and leaned up to kiss him. Jackson smiled and kissed him back gently, before slowly pushing one of his fingers into Mark’s body.

Mark gasped and tensed. “Shh, relax, baby,” Jackson whispered. Mark nodded and forced his muscles to relax again. He closed his eyes for a moment, unused to the feeling of something inside him. Jackson kissed his forehead, down his nose, across his cheeks. Mark smiled into the flurry of light kisses and opened his eyes. Jackson smiled down at him. “Still ok?” he asked. Mark nodded. He shifted and relaxed into the rush of sensations and feelings as Jackson slowly prepared him. He could still feel the good heat rushing through his body, and he relaxed into it as more and more of it welled up and crashed over him. He could feel himself becoming more and more tightly bound to the boy above him, could feel himself getting stronger, with every passing moment. It would take a long time, he knew, before he was fully healthy again, but already he felt better than he had in years.

Mark tightened his arms and pulled Jackson closer to him. Jackson raised an eyebrow, and Mark smiled brightly before kissing him. Jackson laughed quietly and relaxed into the kiss. This close, he could hear and feel every gasp and quiet moan Mark made as he pressed his fingers into him, and he loved it. He kissed him for a long moment as he twisted and spread his fingers inside his lover, and when Jackson finally pulled back, Mark was gasping and sweating, and Jackson thought he was beautiful.

Jackson sat up and pulled his fingers away slowly, smiling when Mark whined in protest and reached for him. Jackson grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed more of it into his palm. He slicked himself up quickly and then leaned over Mark again. He lined up their bodies, and then, staring into Mark’s eyes the whole time, watching for any sign of discomfort, he pushed inside of him.

Mark gasped as he felt Jackson push inside of him, ever so slowly. He fought with his muscles to stay relaxed, and not tense up. He held tight to Jackson, realizing just how literal the word ‘anchor’ was. He felt like he was about to float away, and all that was keeping him still, and safe, was Jackson.

Jackson moved slowly, as slowly as he could, until he was completely inside of Mark. He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together again and brushed a kiss over Mark’s lips. “Ok?” he whispered once more. Mark was gasping, and his eyes were wide. He nodded slowly.

“Ok,” he whispered back. “I love you,” he whispered, so quietly Jackson almost didn’t hear it. But he did, and his breath hitched and a broad grin spread over his face.

“I love you, too,” he said. He leaned down and kissed Mark as he slowly pulled out of him, and then pushed back in. He could feel Mark’s heavy breathing, and hear his moans and gasps, and he held him tighter and kissed him more passionately for it.

They moved together for what seemed like ages. Mark clung to Jackson’s shoulders, and when they stopped kissing buried his face in the other boy’s shoulder. He had never imagined that anything could feel this good, or this right, and he never wanted it to stop. When Jackson brushed a spot inside of him that sent waves of pleasure through his body, he cried out and held onto the other boy tighter.

“Jackson,” he whimpered into Jackson’s neck. Jackson stopped moving and tightened his arms around Mark’s body, and sat back on his heels again. He pulled Mark with him to sit on his lap, and pulled the other boy’s head up so he could see his face, see his eyes. Mark gasped as the change in position pushed Jackson farther into him and leaned down to kiss the other boy again. He pushed himself up and then let himself fall back down, and laughed happily when Jackson groaned and tightened his hold on him. Mark braced his hands on Jackson’s shoulders and pushed himself up again. Jackson pulled Mark down to kiss him and smiled against the older boy’s lips when he heard him laugh again.

When Mark pulled away, his eyes were bright and happy, and Jackson grinned up at him before beginning to move his hips up into him, smirking when Mark gasped and fell forward. Jackson felt him wrap his arms back around his neck, and then groaned when he felt him begin to roll his hips back against his own. Jackson buried his own face in Mark’s neck, kissing and sucking and biting at the skin there, and moved with him. They found a rhythm quickly, like they were dancing together, and clung tighter to each other.

Mark could feel another kind of heat welling up in him, this one new, and hot, but not painful, never painful. He felt it bubble up inside him, higher and higher, until finally it exploded out. “Jackson,” he gasped as he came, holding tight to the other boy as his body tensed and jerked, and finally collapsing forward to lean on Jackson’s shoulders.

Jackson groaned as he felt Mark come, and leaned over to lay him down on the bed again before he began to move faster. Mark was gasping and pliant, and Jackson brushed a kiss over his forehead and cried out his name and came inside of him, and barely caught himself when he fell forward after. He hovered over Mark for a moment before pulling out of him and collapsing to the side. He smiled when Mark whined and pulled the older boy into his chest. He held him close and relaxed into the soft bed as he caught his breath.

Mark curled into Jackson’s arms and pressed as close as he could into his chest. He smiled when the arms around him tightened, and relaxed into the feeling of safety that surrounded him.

“Mark?” Jackson whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Are you – are you better?” he asked haltingly. Mark smiled and looked up into Jackson’s eyes, anxious now that the high of being together had worn off.

“Yeah, I am,” Mark said quietly. “It’ll take time for me to be completely ok, but I will be.” He stroked a hand through Jackson’s hair as he spoke, and smiled when Jackson sagged with relief.

“Good,” he whispered. “Will you tell me what happened? Something seemed to, earlier.” Mark nodded.

“The pain is different for every cloud elf. The woman who taught me said hers was cold. Freezing cold, the kind that hurts. When she found her anchor, she said it was like being next to a big fire,” he said. Jackson propped himself up on his elbow and nodded. He stroked Mark’s hair as he listened. “My pain was hot. It was like – boiling hot liquid was constantly rushing through me. Sometimes it wouldn’t be as bad, but then later it would surge.” Jackson looked stricken.

“And when I touched you, those were some of those times, weren’t they?” he whispered. Mark nodded.

“It got worse, very quickly. At the beginning, when you touched me, it was uncomfortable, but compared to everything else it was barely worth noticing. At the end, though – ” Mark stopped. He didn’t want to tell Jackson and have the other boy beat himself up over it. He bit his lip as he hesitated, and finally decided to just say it. “It felt like touching a hot stove. But every moment felt like the first moments that pain registers.” Jackson gasped and stilled. Mark rushed on. “But, Jackson, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know. I knew what I was doing to myself, and in the end, your touch is what saved me,” he said quietly. Jackson stared down at him with wide eyes.

“Really?” he asked, his voice cracking. Mark nodded.

“Once I let myself accept the bond, your touch didn’t hurt me anymore. It felt like cool air on my skin. That’s why I was holding onto you so tightly. I had forgotten what it felt like to not be in pain, and you were chasing the pain away.” Jackson’s eyes were bright, and Mark reached up to stroke his cheeks as he spoke. “And then, when you were holding me, I started feeling hot again, but it wasn’t painful. It was warm, and safe. And it felt good. Jackson, you made me feel so good,” Mark whispered. Jackson smiled and pulled Mark’s head up to kiss him again. Mark laughed into the kiss and latched onto him again.

The rest of the week passed in a blur of skin and laughs and moans. Mark felt better every day, and he made sure to tell Jackson every morning and evening. Jackson stayed close to Mark all week. The older boy got nervous when he couldn’t touch his lover, scared of the pain returning, and Jackson was happy to indulge him. They both knew that after this week, they would have to readjust to having other people in their lives, and so they took full advantage of the opportunity to just be together. JYP had arranged to have their meals delivered to them, so they never had to leave their room.

By the middle of the week, the bond between them had formed fully, and they began to experiment with what they could do with it. Jackson particularly enjoyed pushing his own feelings to Mark while they made love, and watching as Mark fell apart at the added stimulation. Mark had taken to searching out Jackson’s love for him, as if he was still unsure that this was really what Jackson wanted (he was), even though Jackson reassured him as often as he could (very often).

By the time the end of the week arrived, Mark was looking better than he had in months, even years. His skin was still pale, but it looked healthy. He had gained back some of the weight he had lost. Beyond that, he carried himself straighter. Jackson realized that he had never seen Mark when he wasn’t in pain, and that this was what he looked like when he felt good. And when he realized that, he had to blink rapidly and look away, because how could none of them have noticed?! But Mark noticed and kissed his tears away, and reassured him that it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and anyway, it’s all in the past now, Jacks.

____________

Their bag was packed, they were dressed (for the first time all week), and waiting for their manager. Mark looked around him slowly. He was excited to see the other members again – and to finally be able to hug them as tightly as he wanted to, and have them lean on him any time they wanted – but he was nervous. He was sure of Jackson’s feelings for him, but the fact remained that he was a cloud elf. And the only person around him who was inclined to accept him right away was Jinyoung. Jackson was the only fire elf in the group, but ground elves and water elves were suspicious of cloud elves as well. Yugyeom was a ground elf, as was Jaebum, and Youngjae and Bambam were water elves. He thought that Yugyeom would probably be fine with him. He remembered the younger boy helping him and holding him. But he had no idea how the others would react, or how the rest of the company and JYP would treat him from now on.

Jackson watched as Mark’s shoulders curled in defensively and guessed what he was thinking about. He came to sit down next to him and put his arm around him. Mark leaned into his side and stayed quiet. “It’ll be ok, Mark,” Jackson said quietly. Mark shook his head.

“How can you know that?” he whispered. Jackson sat back and turned the older boy to face him.

“I know, because when JYP told us what our options were, one of them was to have you taken out of Got7, and you and I could figure out everything between us outside of the group. He hadn’t even finished talking before we were all saying no. We love you, Mark. And I can guarantee that all they want is to have you back, and have you healthy and happy.” When Jackson finished Mark was sniffling and impatiently wiping at his eyes.

“Really?” he asked quietly. Jackson nodded and kissed his forehead.

“Really. And I don’t think JYP is going to do anything. He might ask to talk to you, but probably just for your input on how to avoid situations like this in the future.” Mark laughed at that and nodded. “Ok?” Jackson asked, smiling. Mark smiled and blushed.

“Ok,” he said, just as they heard a knock on the door. Mark tensed. Their manager was a ground elf, and while generally they were more accepting of cloud elves, Mark was nervous. Jackson opened the door and smiled a greeting. Mark stood slowly and wrapped his arms around himself. Their manager looked at him and smiled gently.

“Are you alright now?” he asked quietly. Mark nodded. As soon as he did, the older man strode over to him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Mark laughed and slowly hugged him back. “Next time something is wrong, please tell me,” he whispered. Mark nodded and smiled. They stepped back and he was ushered toward the door. “Alright, let’s get you two home. That dorm is a mess without you there.” Jackson laughed.

“Of course it is,” Mark muttered, rolling his eyes. They checked out and left. Mark stared out the window on the drive home. He kept turning Jackson’s words, and their manager’s words, over and over in his head, trying to convince himself that everything would be ok. He hadn’t managed it by the time they pulled up to their building. Jackson squeezed his hand and he smiled over at him and squeezed back. They climbed out of the car and walked over to the building to go upstairs. Their manager stepped back, saying that he needed to get back to the company and he would see them in the morning.

Mark stopped at the door, nervous. “You go in first,” he said quietly. Jackson nodded and kissed his temple. He unlocked the door and stepped inside.

“Yah! We’re home!” he yelled into the dorm. Mark winced as he slipped in behind him and took off his shoes. They heard thundering footsteps, and then Yugyeom and Bambam burst into view and barreled at Mark. Mark’s eyes widened and he braced himself as both maknaes slammed into him, holding tight, and babbling to him about how much they missed him, and never go away for this long again, and are you ok, hyung?!

“Yah! Back off, you’re smothering him,” Jaebum shouted as he and Jackson tried to pull the two younger boys off of Mark. By this time, though, Mark was crying and happy and he tightened his arms around them and glared at the older boys.

“I’m fine, Bambam, I promise. Yes, Yugyeommie, I really am,” he said quietly, and slowly began moving farther into the apartment. Bambam stepped back and glared at him.

“I’m mad at you!” he said loudly. Mark winced. “How could you not tell us?! And were you really just going to disappear?!” Mark sighed and pushed Yugyeom away gently. He walked over to Bambam and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Bambam,” he whispered. “I wanted to tell you, but I would never have even made it past the audition if anyone had known. And I’m sorry that I was letting myself disappear. But I’m ok now, I promise.” Bambam sniffled into his shoulder and hugged his waist tightly.

“Just don’t go away,” he said quietly. Mark smiled.

“I won’t, I promise,” he said. He pulled back and brushed Bambam’s cheeks gently and kissed his forehead. Youngjae swept in then, demanding his own hugs and reassurances, and Yugyeom came back for more, and Mark was laughing, high and clear, and Jackson could feel his face splitting with a wide smile as he listened. He could feel Mark’s genuine happiness through their bond, and he flooded it with as much love as he could in answer.

“Back off!” Jaebum shouted again. “Other people want to welcome him home, too, you know!” The three youngest boys muttered mutinously before Mark laughed and squirmed out of their arms and turned to Jaebum. The leader swept him into a tight hug and Mark smiled and held him tight. “Never hide something like that from us again,” Jaebum whispered. “I know why you did it, but don’t ever do it again.” Mark nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back. Jaebum smiled and shook his head.

“You’re forgiven,” he said easily. “You’re alright, so you’re forgiven.” Mark laughed and blinked rapidly, trying not to start crying (again, because honestly, there had been enough tears in the past two weeks). The six of them moved slowly into the living room, laughing loudly as Bambam and Yugyeom tried to tell what seemed like four different stories at once. Mark went quiet once they got into the living room, though.

Jinyoung stood in the middle of the room, his eyes down and his arms wrapped around his waist. He looked miserable, and Mark could tell from the air around him that he had barely slept all week. When he heard the laughter stop he looked up quickly. His face was pale, and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry, and Mark felt his heart clench at the sight.

“Mark-hyung,” Jinyoung whispered. He paused, and then began to speak very fast. “I – I’m sorry, I know I promised not to tell, and I know that you trusted me and that you must hate me now, but I couldn’t watch you – ” Mark strode across the room and wrapped the younger boy in as tight a hug as he could manage. Jinyoung stopped and gasped. His arms fought their way out from between the two of them and snaked around Mark’s waist and squeezed as tightly as they could. “I’m sorry!” he sobbed into Mark’s shoulder.

“No, Jinyoung, I’m sorry,” Mark whispered. “I should never have asked that of you. You saved me, and I can’t thank you enough.” Jinyoung shuddered and his sobs grew heavier. Mark slowly moved them over to sit on the couch, and he pulled Jinyoung down to sit with him. Through the bond, he asked Jackson to take the others out of the room for a moment, and smiled his thanks when his anchor complied.

“Jinyounggie, listen to me,” Mark said quietly. “You kept my secret for as long as it needed to be kept, and then when keeping it put me in danger, you revealed it. I could never ask for a better friend than one who knows to do that. You did what I was too scared to do, and I’m more grateful than I can say.” Jinyoung was shaking in his arms, and only seemed to shake harder as he spoke to him. “Do you understand?” Mark asked. Jinyoung nodded shakily and curled further into Mark’s arms.

“I love you, hyung,” he whispered. Mark smiled.

“I love you, too.”

They sat there quietly until Jinyoung’s tears stopped, and then stayed there until the others burst back into the room and demanded their attention. Jaebum put on a movie, and a battle broke out over who could sit closest to Mark, and Mark grinned when the solution was that four people were leaning on him and curled up to him, and it didn’t hurt at all.

Later that night, when the movie was over and Bambam and Yugyeom were asleep with their heads on his stomach and shoulder respectively, and Youngjae was leaning on his legs and Jinyoung was curled up under his arm with Bambam lying on him, and he still wasn’t in any pain, Mark grinned softly and blinked away tears (these would be the last. He was sure of it). Jackson came over and leaned over to kiss his forehead and begin waking people up to move them into their own beds. Mark pouted and tried to hold onto Jinyoung and Yugyeom as they woke up, but Jackson glared.

“Yah! I understand that you want to spend time with them, but I want to spend time with you, too. And anyway, we all need proper sleep, and I don’t care how great you feel, you’ll hurt if you spend the night on the floor.” Mark sighed and nodded, and helped coax his dongsaengs up and into their own rooms. He said goodnight to each of them, and to Jaebum, and then followed Jackson into their room, where the other boy was pushing their mattresses together. Mark laughed, and went to help him.

Later, when they were curled up together, Jackson kissed his forehead and smiled. “I’m glad we’re home,” he whispered. Mark nodded happily and leaned up to kiss his anchor. He smiled as the feeling of warmth and safety washed over him, securing him to the ground, and fell asleep.

________

Mark was the last home that day. He hadn’t been satisfied with his performance in practice, and had ordered Jackson to go home with the rest of them while he worked out a couple of kinks in his dancing. He got a ride home with the manager of 2PM, and stumbled into the dorm an hour after the rest of them. He could hear the rest of his group in the kitchen, talking loudly over one another and yelling at each other and he smiled. He liked coming home and hearing this. But the smile turned to a grimace quickly.

He had only been away from Jackson for a little over an hour, but he was already feeling hot pain start to well up in his heart. He was better, but because he had denied the bond for so long, he doubted he would ever be able to be away from Jackson for long without feeling the pain return. He walked into the kitchen, ignored all greetings, and slipped into Jackson’s lap. He wrapped his arms around his anchor’s neck and held tight, willing his shuddering to subside. He didn’t notice the kitchen going quiet, he only felt Jackson’s arms as they slid around his waist and pulled him close.

The other members stared. They knew, vaguely, what it meant that Jackson was Mark’s anchor. They knew Mark still had trouble sometimes, and needed Jackson in those times, to pull him back, and chase away the pain. They had all sat around the kitchen table the day after Mark and Jackson returned, and Mark had told them about what he was, what he had gone through, and what his bond with Jackson meant. They had needed to hear it, to be reassured that it wasn’t their fault that they hadn’t realized what was wrong.

So they knew that if Mark looked like he was uncomfortable or in pain, they needed to get him to Jackson. They knew that if the oldest member ever dragged Jackson away, straight to their room, not to disturb them. But they had never seen first hand evidence of the bond. It was in front of them now, and they couldn’t look away.

Mark was still shaking and hadn’t looked up from Jackson’s neck. They could hear quiet whimpers coming from him, and it took everything Jinyoung had not to reach out and try to help him. Jackson had looked up a moment before Mark had walked into the kitchen and pushed his chair back from the table just in time for Mark to sit down in his lap. His arms went around the older boy right away, and he held him close and began stroking his back. After a moment, Jackson kissed Mark’s shoulder and then his temple, and then he looked up at the rest of them, smiled, and carried on with their conversation. The other five members floundered for a moment, and then continued talking, falling back into the playful arguments they had been having before. Mark stayed quiet, tucked into Jackson’s shoulder. Slowly, his shudders stopped and he relaxed in Jackson’s hold. Jackson never stopped stroking his back, and when Mark finally sat up, he looked at him seriously for a moment, and only smiled when Mark nodded to him. He kissed him quickly, and then turned back to the argument he was having with Jaebum.

Mark felt a breeze brush his cheek, carrying a concerned inquiry from Jinyoung, and he smiled at the younger boy across the table and nodded. He was fine. He was better than fine.


End file.
